You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
