i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
