If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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