I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
