I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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