I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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