this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
