why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
