you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
