well most of my day revolves around power hour
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
