Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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