I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
