Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just puked most of my soul out..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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