2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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