What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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