do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
