Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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