Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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