I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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