I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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