I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
