I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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