Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
