Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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