it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
