I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
