found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Randomize
