What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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