So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize