sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
