I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
