That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
