Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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