im drinking this country out of the recession.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ketchup is God's man juice
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
