I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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