Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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