Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize