the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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