ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
