At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
