420 ftw
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
