If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
