His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
