You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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