When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
