Plan B is the new Plan A
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
