question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize