i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
