using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
