So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
