im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize