Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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