Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it because I queefed?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
