You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
