I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
