Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize