Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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