So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
