Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize